i apologize to the person’s cake i kept stealing pieces of at stud bar last night
i wasn’t eating any, just moving them to different tables
i also apologize for being pretty much naked all night
two best friends with phds (one is married, one is an eccentric straight drag queen) are fighting over me and i am laughing so much
getting serious phone calls all day talking about our future makin’ me uncomfortable
"tina had a long wait ‘til she got to the buffet. let her pig out."
something that i just heard on bob’s burgers that i relate to.